So times are tough. But meat is meat and a man must eat. JP Bruwer gives some advice on how to save a few rands when dining out.

• The wine stash: Thanks to some innovative packaging, wine can be purchased in 500ml tetra-pack containers. These are just perfect for getting your own back on those wine-unfriendly eateries charging 300% to 400% mark-ups. Before your visit to the restaurant, simply stash your jacket pockets or hand-bag with three to four of these little cartons of wine, and remember to pack a pair of small scissors. At the restaurant make a big scene of ordering the cheapest bottle of wine on the wine-list. Thereafter, conduct frequent visits to the gents or ladies to snip open the wine-pack, return to the table with the concealed container and refill glasses when no-one is looking. Besides saving some serious cash, this clandestine method of wine procurement adds excitement to a dull evening.
• Bread and cheese: Waiting staff are not only mostly stupid, but extremely inattentive. Therefore it is simple to put an edible on your table without him or her noticing. Rather than ordering a R56 starter, simply remove a chunk of cheese from your pocket or hand-bag and plonk it on the table. Keep sending the bread-basket back for a refill while merrily chomping away at the bread, butter and cheese and deciding on your main course. If the waitron does happen to ask you how the cheese got onto the table, tell him or her you have absolutely no idea and were about to complain to management about the unwanted item lying around.
• Heat me up, Scotty: Order a steak. Immediately eat all the chips, onion rings and vegetables. Then munch about a quarter of the steak. Call the waitron and politely ask him or her to have the “delicious” piece of meat re-heated by the griller. The plate will return with not only a heated steak, but also a new supply of chips and veggies which will in most instances not find their way onto the bill!
• The pea in the wine: There is nothing quite as disgusting as a piece of food floating around in a bottle of wine. Thus, before entering the restaurant, make sure there is a cooked or canned pea in your pocket. During the dinner, select an expensive bottle of wine and leisurely consume three quarters of it. When no one is looking, simply drop the pea into the bottle of wine and call the waitron. Making a suitable expression of disgust, show waitron the pea-shaped object – which is a pea – floating in your wine and demand a fresh bottle. No, not a bottle of the expensive wine you had originally ordered, because that has peas in it. Order a far cheaper bottle, for which you will be charged, but with the satisfaction of having enjoyed three quarters of an expensive bottle for nada.
Have any more tips? Send as a comment to be shared by all.

Looking in on the British wine market.

Winegoggle correspondent David Finlayson from Edgebaston Vineyards reports on the state of play in the United Kingdom

What’s up in England?
Other than the nether regions of those English cricketers, who still cannot stop trumpeting about their win in the Ashes, not much it seems! In fact, the UK – and in particular its wine market – is the most depressing it has ever been in decades. Not the most inspiring wine market at any time in the past, horribly oversupplied, overtraded and dictated to by the supermarkets, the UK wine trade just doesn’t seem to know what the hell it must do to get going again.
Once the gentleman’s perfect place to cellar, sell and buy claret, Burgundy and port from small independent retailers, the members of the UK wine trade now seem to spend all day talking, milling around and not actually getting much done or at least not knowing how to get back to the glorious days of the 80’s and 90’s.
What’s the reason for this you might ask? Well, of course there are a number, but firstly one has to lay a bit of the blame at the feet of the Aussies and to a lesser (or different) extent the Kiwi’s. Their success in taking over the market in the UK has been their downfall. Too much average, decent (but bland ) “critter” wine coming from young vineyards, made for the big corporate wine brands, lacking true personality and sense of place has been flooded onto the supermarket shelves. Now the inevitable has happened: the supermarkets are making sure they make money in the recessionary times and it’s the suppliers that have to bite the bullet. Offers of 3 for under 10 quid have surpassed BOGOF”s ( Buy one get one free); ie what was a 50% discount is now a 66% discount. On top of this, the Aussies have a currency that’s stronger than the Rand against the pound, they now have to pay for water to irrigate their parched vineyards and worst of all, South America has woken up and is starting to produce some great wine at a fraction of the cost that the Antipodeans are.
The Kiwi’s were making a huge name for themselves with Savvies (Sauvignon Blanc) so what happened? They got greedy, demarcated new outlying land as part of established areas to supply the over demand. Bam! Two big crops later with all the extra plantings and there’s a flood of half decent SB retailing under 5 quid a bottle, where the average a few years ago was closer to 10.
Chile is the big thing on everyone’s lips now. Nice wines at a really good price and they are set to grow tremendously in the lower price brackets, kicking a lot of Aussie and Kiwi wines off the shelves.
A big worry for the SA wine producer should be the emergence of the Independent wine trade’s “own import” brands as competition in the overstocked market. The wine retailers are often owners of their own label brands which they focus on selling as much -  if not more – of than the private wineries they represent or sell. The reason being, they cut out the middle man (importer)  and make more margin. Common business sense this may be, but it makes it very difficult for the estates and producers that invest their time and money in trying to build a brand and then basically compete with what could be called “Fresh air wineries”.
So where does this leave good old RSA and its producers, in the picture you may ask?
Well, without a doubt there is an opportunity now to take over some of the higher price point positions that our Southern cousins have previously occupied . The secret: don’t get greedy on prices, aim to retail SA wines at around or just under 10 pounds, as the Aussie wines that were in that bracket are set to jump in price now by 10-20%. On the lower end, the big SA players need to spend money to create awareness and take out the competition that will be coming from South America in the year ahead. Everyone agrees in the UK, whilst soccer yobs might drink beer, there will still be millions of middle and upper class families happily sitting in front of the telly with a Sainsbury’s prepared TV dinner , watching Rooney scoring goals in Jozzi and realising that they should be celebrating with a bottle of the Cape’s best (that they can afford).

A rainbow of hope over the Kalahari, Northern Cape.

The Blocuso Wine Development Initiative outside Keimoes in the Northern Cape should be an example of how true empowerment and land reform can work in the wine industry. According to Herman Cruywagen, Chief Executive Officer of Oranjerivier Wine Cellars which is one of the partners of the Blocuso Project, the need for black economic empowerment is non-negotiable in the rural areas of the Northern Cape.
“But as history has shown, the letters BEE do not automatically translate into success,” he says. “Real empowerment depends on partnerships between parties who each have the necessary skills to contribute towards making the specific project work, and inspiring the beneficiaries of the project to help in its success.”
The Blocuso Project is a joint venture between the Department of Agriculture, Land Reform and Rural Development, Department of Water and Enviromental Affairs, Oranjerivier Wine Cellars and the Blocuso Trust. The latter is a trust of more than 400 beneficiaries representing the communities of Bloemsmond, Curriescamp and Soverby between Keimoes and Upington.
The Project is funded by the Departments to the tune of R21m. Oranjerivier Wine Cellars supplied the planting material and helped establish the current 20ha of irrigated vineyards on the 216ha of land allocated to the project, which includes water rights. The vineyards, which were planted this year, will be harvested for the first time in 2011. As part of the agreement, Oranjerivier Wine Cellars will purchase the grapes as well as issuing the trust with shares in Oranjerivier Wine Cellars based on the amount of grapes harvested.
Cruywagen says Oranjerivier Wine Cellars looks forward to welcoming the beneficiaries of the Blocuso Project into the Northern Cape’s dynamic wine industry.
“The Northern Cape has over the past years become a major player in the South African wine industry, which includes distillation wine and grape juice concentrate,”  he says. “Currently harvesting 150 000 tonnes of grapes a year, we are not only selling our own Oranjerivier brand, but also supplying other players in the wine industry with wine, concentrate and juice. “The beneficiaries of the Blocuso Project can therefore rest assured that they are part of a prolific wine business and can look forward to reaping the rewards, which will provide much relief to these communities.”
Cruywagen said that one of the objectives of Oranjerivier Wine Cellars’ involvement in the project was to create a new generation of people who are active in the region’s grape-growing sector.
“This wonderful piece of the world, fed by the waters of South Africa’s largest river, has a proud history of grape farming, and we are custodians of the vision our forefathers had to create this oasis of vineyards in the Northern Cape,” says Cruywagen.
 “It is important that the next generation of grape farmers be brought into the wine industry by giving them the opportunities they need to stake their claim as land-owners and farmers. This initial 20ha vineyard is thus hopefully the first step towards an economically active generation of new farmers who can join Oranjerivier Wine Cellars in unlocking the potential of this wonderful region for the benefit of all its people.”

We all know about lies, damn lies and statistics. The latter, however, do have a role to play when it comes to substantiating statements of the PR nature.
Thus, when receiving a press release breathlessly announcing the success of a specific wine or brand, said success would be so much more believable – and newsworthy – if backed up by a few figures that could just make this progressive state of events more believable.
Certain wine brands are however seemingly not concerned with backing up statements with facts or figures.
A while back there was that howler of a media release from Durbanville Hills informing news rooms that South African Sauvignon Blancs were making major strides in the New Zealand market. The pants-wetting enthusiasm with which the media release was written was, unfortunately, not backed up by any proof of this South African onslaught on the Land of the Long Cloud, or whatever they prefer to call themselves.
Needless to say, the release received hardly any coverage.
Shortly after, the following release is mailed courtesy of OBIKWA wines.
I quote verbatim:
OBIKWA wines make major strides
OBIKWA, the fun loving range of palate pleasing wines that stuck its neck out earlier this year by launching five wines in South Africa after its runaway success overseas, has made major strides on home turf in less than a year.
“OBIKWA has exceeded all our expectations which just goes to show that even in tough economic times, there is always a place for quality varietal wines at a pocket-friendly price,” says winemaker….
Had this been written by a journalist, any news editor worth his or her salt would have been guilty of physical abuse in the workplace, with sexual harassment an optional extra.
Why? Because nowhere in the release is there any fact or figure to back-up the “runaway success” and “major strides”.
(Further on the missive talks on the wine’s “ethnic charm”, ridiculous descriptions are so part-and-parcel or the wine industry’s communications set-up that this comes as no surprise.)
Should there be concern at this poor level of wine industry communications?
Yes. Analytical wine writing is disappearing from the dead tree media at an alarming rate as the frequency and length of wine columns has been slashed over the past few years. Could the poor state of wine communication not be reason for this?

- Darien Morgan

Amy Winehouse comments on the Cheval Blanc 1962 vintage.

QUITE a paradox. Ernesto Hemingway reckons “good wine is the most civilised thing on earth”, yet the fine product of the vine has to bear the brunt of those wishing to warn the world against the evils of excessive drinking.
Of course alcohol is a doer of offensively huge social, physical and psychological harm. And it is a good thing that alcohol advertisements and bottles be forced to carry warnings to highlight this. But in the South African context, it would appear that wine is the most evil liquor of them all.
Examples? Let’s take Marie Claire, the monthly journal of the working and fashion conscious multi-orgasmic female.
In its August issue, Marie Claire gets all heated up about findings of a study that a drink leads to breast cancer. (This was before the recent news posted by another study stating that women who do too little housework have a bigger chance of the same affliction than those ladies who commit themselves to domestic duties, but we digress.)
Marie Claire then went and asked three advertising agencies to create advertisements warning women of the dangers of drinking. Which is all fine.
But when looking at the advertisements the agencies came up with, all three seemed to communicate the fact that the dangers of alcohol are confined to the consumption of wine.
In one advertisement, a woman holding a glass of red wine had blood on the breast area of her white dress. The next showed a row of surgery tools ready for operations, with the one tool being a cork screw. And the third one warned against the dangers of drinking during pregnancy by depicting a foetus inside a wine bottle.
Once again, let’s not beat about the bush and deny that alcohol can be a serious health hazard. BUT why only pick on wine? Would beer, whisky or vodka have been to challenging for the agencies?
Then there is the radio advertisements where a kid asks his mother about the baby in her stomach.
Yes, she says, there is tube that feeds the baby in her stomach, she tells her son.
So everything you eat, the baby eats, the kid asks.
When the mom replies “yes” the kid asks: “And the wine?”
Once again, pick on the wine industry. And the damage this one-sided look does to the health of the wine industry….
Who talks about that?

Kid Carignan

Kid Carignan writes detective novels under another name. He is a wine lover who arranges wine and marijuana tastings, believing that the two products complement each other. WineGoggWe spoke to him during his recent stay in South Africa.
WineGoggle: Why do you believe wine and marijuana to be compatible?
Kid Carignan: Well, they are both natural products and their respective producers go to great lengths to emphasise their respective natural characteristics. Just like you get wine terroir you have marijuana terroir. Growers of good dope also embrace the farming practices followed by grape farmers. Organic is cool and desirable, low yields produce better quality grass and a basic respect for the natural environment your plantations occur in is required.
You can’t make good wine from bad grapes, and you sure can’t make a good joint from poor grass, either.
WG: What came first: dope or wine?
KC: I can’t remember, but then again, if you can remember the seventies you weren’t there. No, I was hanging out in Oregon to avoid going to Vietnam, not really keen to flip the border and hide in Canada. In Oregon the communes were hectically big on dope, and every third person had a gallon of Two Buck Chuck which was normally used to hydrate yourself after some frenetic smoking. I kind of liked the wine. But on days when I was not doing dope, the wine tasted really bad. Taste it after a few hits, and a lot of flavours came out. But at that stage my interest in wine was minimal, so I did not have a revelatory moment. Only later, when I was exposed to better wines, did I notice how dope complemented the flavour of the wine.
WG: When did you become interested in wine?
KC: Like most young wannabe writers of American origin, I had to do the Hemingway thing. I joined Tom McGuane and Jim Harrison on a six month hike through Spain and France, and began drinking some really pleasant wines. Jim was the big connoisseur – still is! – but Tom and I stuck to vin de pays, and we were really excited at the variety of quality wines in Spain and France. And, of course, they really tasted different to the wines we were used to Stateside. But it grew from there. Once I started publishing and getting advances and stuff, I bought wine – better stuff.
WG: And the idea of combining wine with marijiuana?
KC: Well in the eighties it was always wine and food; wine and Mexican; wine and chocolate; wine and bread. As if people didn’t have enough confidence to drink the stuff as is. The I was invited to a gig Krug Champagne had at the Carlyle Hotel in New York. And here they were matching Champagnes with various cigars. (Cuban, by the way.) So we’d have a vintage Champagne paired with a Monte Christo or Cohiba. It wasn’t bad, but spoilt the Champagne. However, it got me thinking….
WG: Wine and marijuana?
KC: Yeah. Cigar smoke is big and cloying. Good dope is not as invasive on the palate. Of course, dope varies immensely. But all dope dries out the taste-buds for an instance. Now take those dried little buds of yours and have them wallow in a really good Cabernet and see what happens. They – the taste-buds – sink into the flavours of the wine making it a far superior tasting experience.
WG: So essentially you are saying that wine tastes better with grass?
KC: Well if you don’t believe me, give it a try. Take a hit of some average grass – Rwanda Royal, for example, or Kabul Emerald. Hold it in your lungs for thirty seconds and exhale slowly. Now take a glug of a medium-bodied Rhône. You are going to find much more fruit on that wine than if you’d chewed on a steak or some meat rather than a smoke.
WG: Are there any wines that work better with a specific type of marijuana?
KC: Look, I don’t think one should be too prescriptive. Smoke and drink what you like. In my experience of wine and dope, which has been intense, I have however come up with a few observations.
If the dope is of poor quality, like that majat grown in Cape Town, you need a cool white wine. The stuff burns hot and is edgy, and your wine experience will be much better if the smoke is followed with a cool Chenin Blanc of Chardonnay. If you get some heavy stuff, real Durban Poison or Moroccan Mad Man, you are going to go for your big wines. Bordeaux or big American Cabernets. The tannins in these wines stand up to smoke of top weed, which is important as this kind of weed has a high resin content.
WG: You spend three months a year in South Africa. What do you think of our marijuana?
KC: You have a lot of potential, really. Especially since you have began focussing on quality and learning where to plant the good stuff. Durban Poison is great if you can find the real stuff. Can’t they put a Seal of Quality on the real stuff? There are such a lot of rip-offs calling themselves DP. It really is top notch. But too much of your dope is aimed at the lower end of the market. I think you need a body to control the industry, an organisation that unites all grass growers in the cause of growing better quality dope that can do justice to these fine wines. Weed of South Africa – WOSA – could be a good name.
WG: Wosa is taken.
KC: Whatever. Grass of SA (GOSA) or Dope of SA (DOSA).
WG: Best combination?
KC: A Premier Cru Burgundy from Pommard and a perfect joint of Algerian Black. I do this combination each time I finish a book, which makes the writing process something to look forward to each day.

Classifieds:

For sale: KWV Muscadel 1975.

R85 a 750ml bottle.

Tasting notes: Rich toffee and fruit cake with sparkling and brisk notes of honey-blossom. Will keep another 50 years.

Profits go towards Galjoengat benevelont fund.

Windmeul Cellar in the past three months totally rose to the fore with an array of wine awards, as a top performer at the 2009 Veritas Awards with two double gold medals and one gold medal, an Absa Top 10 Pinotage winner, five gold medals at Michelangelo International Wine Awards, two Diamond trophies at the Winemaker’s Choice Awards, four stars at WINE magazine’s Shiraz Challenge, the favourite wine of the consumers’ tasting at the Paarl Shiraz Challenge and the Chardonnay Champion of the Paarl region at the SA Young Wine Show.
It really is an exceptional achievement for one wine cellar to receive so many top accolades in such a short time. In addition, the Windmeul Pinotage Reserve 2008 this year was the only wine that received both an Absa Top 10 Pinotage Trophy and Double Gold Veritas Award, and it also was the only Pinotage that received a Diamond Trophy at the 2009 Winemakers’ Choice Awards.
With the recession that still lingers, the creative team at Windmeul Cellar decided to open a monthly farm market at this historic wine cellar’s wine centre on the northern slopes of Paarl Mountain. The opening takes place on Saturday 7 November and coincides with the 2009 Windmeul Waterblommetjie Festival and the potjiekos competition with waterblommetjies as the theme. Fresh products including meat, jam, olive, olive oil, cheese, vegetables, freshly baked bread, honey and eggs can be purchased directly from the supplier, whilst the Windmeul range of wines is available in the tasting venue.
A total of 25 teams will participate in the potjieskos competition and the judging is done by a panel of experts, with special prizes being awarded to the best dishes. Music, airplane flour bombs, a wine tent and cash bar will create the atmosphere.
This is a renewal of the cellar’s history. The mill to which Windmeul owes its name was erected between 1884 and 1890 in the open area to the West Coast to receive enough wind, and today this cool area is utilized as a prime wine growing terrain. Some of the first grapes were planted by the French Huguenots. The windmill then was the centre of the economic activity in that area, but after a devastating storm in the early nineties and the economic recession after the Boer War, the windmill ceased production. Today Windmeul Cellar keeps it alive.
For more information on the opening of the Windmeul Farm Market and the Windmeul Waterblommetjie Festival, and to enter for the potjiekos competition, call 021 869 8100, e-mail suretha@windmeul.com or visit www.windmeulwinery.co.za.

Frans Smit, show me the money!

Spier Wines reigned supreme at the 2009 Veritas Awards last Saturday. The well-known Stellenbosch winery clinched five double gold and half a dozen gold medals at the annual gala-awards dinner, sponsored by Agri-Expo, at the Cape Town International Convention Centre (CTICC).

Other top achievers in the double gold and gold rankings were Nederburg Wines (2 double gold, 5 gold), Fleur du Cap (2 double gold, 2 gold), Boplaas (2 double gold, 3 gold), Ernie Els Wines (2 double gold, 1 gold) and Windmeul Cellar (2 double gold, 1 gold).

Anura, Cape Point Vineyards, Diemersfontein and Guardian Peak also shone with two double gold medals each.

Of the total 1 728 entries,  40 (2%) won double gold, 109 (6%) gold, 444 (25%) silver and 676 (39%) bronze medals.

THE WINNING WINES

Spier Wines continued their Veritas triumph of recent years with double gold medals for their 2007 Private Collection Chardonnay, Private Collection Pinotage and Private Collection Shiraz. Their 2007 Cabernet Sauvignon Reserve and 2007 True to Terroir The Hutton Cabernet Sauvignon wines under the Woolworths label also achieved double gold status.
Gold medals for the 2006 Spier Private Collection Cabernet Sauvignon, 2007 Spier Vintage Selection Cabernet Sauvignon, 2007 Lesebo Pinotage, 2007 Woolworths True to Terroir Koffie Klip Merlot, 2008 Spier Private Collection Chardonnay and 2008 Woolworths True to Terroir The Abacus Chardonnay completed their sterling performance.

Nederburg winemakers took yet another a bow on the Veritas podium, winning double gold for the 2007 Nederburg Sémillon Noble Late Harvest Private Bin and 2007 Nederburg Private Bin R181 Merlot. The 2007 Nederburg Private Bin R121 Shiraz, 2008 Nederburg Private Bin D252 Sauvignon Blanc/Sémillon, 2008 Nederburg Eminence Private Bin, 2008 Nederburg Winemasters Reserve Noble Late Harvest and 2009 Nederburg Private Bin D234 Sauvignon Blanc garnered gold medals.

Double gold honours went to Fleur du Cap for their 2006 Fleur du Cap Unfiltered Merlot and 2007 Fleur du Cap Unfiltered Cabernet Sauvignon. Their 2007 Fleur du Cap Noble Late Harvest and 2007 Fleur du Cap Unfiltered Merlot won gold medals.

Boplaas reaffirmed their position as the country’s Port masters with double gold for their Boplaas Cape Tawny (non-vintage) and 2006 Boplaas Cape Vintage plus gold for Boplaas Cape Tawny Vintners Reserve (non-vintage) and their 2004 Boplaas Cape Vintage Reserve. The 1997 Boplaas Cape Tawny Reserve Port clinched a gold award in the Museum Class.

Ernie Els Wines proved their mettle with double gold for the  2005 Ernie Els Limited Release and 2007 Engelbrecht Els Proprietors Blend as well as gold for the  2007 Ernie Els Cirrus Syrah.

Windmeul Cellar flew the Paarl region’s flag at Veritas with double gold for the  Windmeul Cape Blend and Windmeul Pinotage Reserve plus gold for Windmeul Cabernet Sauvignon Reserve – all 2008 vintage.

Red blends lead in the double gold medal stakes with six awards, followed by Cabernet Sauvignon (5), Merlot (5), Sauvignon Blanc (5), Pinotage (4), Muscadel (3), Chardonnay (2), Shiraz (2), Port (2), Chenin Blanc (1), Sémillon (1), Noble Late Harvest (1), Méthode Cap Classique (1). The Museum Class yielded two double gold awards for Noble Late Harvest (1) and Dessert wine (1).

The highest number of gold medals were awarded to Merlot (13), followed by Cabernet
Sauvignon (11), Chardonnay (10), Red Blends (9), Muscadel (9), Chenin Blanc (8), Shiraz (8), Sauvignon Blanc (8), Pinotage (7), White Blends (5), Dessert Wine (4), Méthode Cap Classique (3), Colombar (2), Noble Late Harvest (2), Port (2), Viognier (1), Natural Sweet (1), Rosé (1), Malbec (1) and Other Cultivars (1). Three gold medals were awarded to a White Wine, a Red Wine and a Port entered in the Museum Class.

After almost two decades the distinctive Veritas emblem of excellence that adorn the winning wines has become synonymous with top quality wines.

The full results are available online at  www.veritas.co.za

TASTE VERITAS WINNERS COUNTRYWIDE

Wine lovers have the unique opportunity to get up close and personal with the cream of the 2009 Veritas crop at the annual public tastings in three cities across the country during October and November this year with special tastings of selected wines in Port Elizabeth and Knysna.

The Cape Town tasting takes place at the VOC Centre (Southern Sun Cape Sun, Strand Street) on 21 October 2009 from 17:00 until 20:00. Tickets cost R120. Gauteng wine connoisseurs can join in the fun at the Bill Gallagher Room at the Sandton Convention Centre on 27 October from 17:00 until 20:00 where tickets cost R130. Durbanites should reserve their places at the Function Room, Deloittes Head Office in Umhlanga for a tasting on 5 November from 17:00 until 20:00. Tickets cost R100. A limited number of tickets are available in advance at Computicket outlets nationwide or online at www.computicket.com

A selection of the Veritas champs will also be available for tasting in Port Elizabeth (Squires Legendary Grill on 10 November) and Knysna (Kilzers Kitchen on 11 and 12 November). Bookings are to be made at the venues. Visit www.veritas.co.za for further information.

 A selection of the Veritas wines will also be available at From the Earth at the Cape Town International Convention Centre (CTICC) from 16 to 18 October 2009.

This year’s wine tastings are supported by the professional services firm, Deloitte, who shares Veritas’ quest for excellence in South African Wine.

For the latest Veritas news, as well as interesting interviews with the organisers, international judges and top achievers, visit the new Veritas online press office at www.winenews.co.za.

For further information contact Elsabé Ferreira at tel (021) 807 3104, email information@veritas.co.za or visit www.veritas.co.za

CASSIA RESTAURANT. On the Nitida Wine Estate in Durbanville.: Tel 021 976-0640       �
Would somebody please get this place some new tables?
Unfortunately, the list of woes experienced by moi at Cassia Restaurant on the Nitida Wine Estate does not stop with the clumsy, wonky tables. Nor does it start there. Actually, it started at 16:03 on the day prior to my visit when I called the winery to reach the restaurant so that a booking could be made.
I was surprised to find that the Nitida winery staff had already knocked off for the day. Instead of a human, I  heard a recorded voice barking numbers and codes at me. Things are obviously going so well in the flourishing Durbanville Wine Route that cellars apparently close after the siesta.
In any event, said Cassia telephone number was obtained via recorded voice so I made the reservation for a party of upcountry business folk and myself. It was a sure deal: they were staying out in the Northern Suburbs and I had been to Cassia before so knew that it was better than the other dining options in that neck of the woods.
Things change, however, and not always for the better.
Okay, as we sat down we felt the table tremble. A wine glass almost fell over. I was just about to complain to the waiter about the wonkiness when the guests at the table next to us told us they were experiencing the same problem, and that this seemed to be a new design feature.
Not wishing to show our barbaric and un-modish lack of appreciation for design, we set about the business of ordering dinner.
The Cassia menu used to be easy to understand. Ah, those were the days. Now we get onglet and T-bone of lamb, for fuck’s sake.
In any event, we were guided in the direction of venison terrine for starters, which two of the guests had. I was feeling fishy and went for the prawn starter, while the other partner had a go at some risotto.
The terrines were good. The risotto was hopelessly over-salted, I was told in whispered tones. Being the host, I offered to diplomatically complain by hitting the chef with a wonky table, but was requested not to make a scene.
My prawn starter was like the tip I ended up leaving at the end of the meal: Small, but beautifully arranged.
For close on R50 bucks you get not one, but two mangy frozen supermarket prawns covered in a crumbed-kind of thing resembling budgie vomit. Look, if you are going to rip someone off with two prawns, why not make these two good quality prawns cooked with a bit of skill so as to ensure a semblance of succulence is maintained?
At this stage we were drinking Nitida’s very good 2009 Sauvignon Blanc, a great wine to wash down tough, bland prawns with if ever there was one.
For mains two in the party had fillet of beef, one had chicken with some beany thing and I settled on the onglet of beef with “Cassia chips”.
The fillet appeared uninspiring on its little bed of mash. The chicken was tasty, but over-seasoned again and a bit on the undercooked side.
Onglet, a strip of beef from the chest section, was ordered medium rare and arrived in tepid slices with a heap of green leaves and some very tired looking thick-cut French fries.
I longed for the Cassia of old: the hotness of the thin chips. The taste of the sauces. The savouriness of the meat and fowl. The feeling that everything had been freshly cooked after hours’ exciting and spirited sessions of menu planning.
This was just going through the motions, and if I am going to pay these kind of prices for just going through the motions, they can go and get stuffed.
The crème brûlée was coffee-flavoured, a dead giveaway of the chef’s inability to make a traditional one, but not bad. The tip was small, the wine was good.
And the table was wonky.
                                                                                                                                                                  JP Bruwer