Eat, drink.....but get the wine to us, Lads.

There’s a new sheriff in town, one riding into the range of wine distribution in the South African black market. Just, this sheriff is a posse. One who is going to rattle the cages. Make inroads where the bigger producers have failed dismally to make wine appealing to the critical mass without which the SA industry ain’t going to survive locally, namely the hoard of restless thirsty natives. Who, by the way, have got an increasing amount of cash to spare.

The new distributor, Saint Danté Joint Venture, is a unique working relationship between the South African Liquor Traders Association (SALTA) and ten wine brands. Who are SALTA? Well, it represents over 450 000 black liquor traders, that’s who. So, you think you did a big deal getting onto the Spur’s wine-list? Well how does an in into 450 000 shebeens, spazas, restaurants, car-washes, barbecue shops, etc sound.

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Nico Panagio and Anel Alexander getting some wood in "Semi Soet".

The situation of wine marketing is – in South Africa, at least – akin to the kind of free-for-all found in rugby rucks officiated by a blind referee. At the one end there is a diverse media spectrum united in the ridiculous belief that wineries and their brands are sitting on piles of cash just waiting to be spent on advertising. As a participant in aforementioned ruck, I am confronted on a daily basis by magazines such as Organic Camping Weekly or Still Life with Bokkom convincing me that by “taking a page” my brands will fly.

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There has been some serious drinking going on in my neck of the woods recently. A hot summer, various work-related challenges and taxing gym sessions have left me with the kind of thirst a camel would run away from.

Sure, the usual suspects are being employed to slake this thirst – kegs of frosty draft beer, bathtubs full of vermouth and tonic, lakes of gin and bitter lemon. But, due to a tireless commitment to the industry, I have also been putting wine away at a rate of knots.

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Grab the whole onion.

When I began my former career as a movie reviewer, I asked a colleague how one goes about this.

“Just sit back, enjoy, and write about it as you were describing the movie to your girlfriend or her mother,” came the answer from across the cluttered editorial offices of Die Burger newspaper.

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“Your drinking what?” I looked up and showed her the flat-green bottle. “Vermouth. Noilly Prat,” I answered. “Why, do you prefer Cinzano?”

She stared at me as if black widow spiders were crawling from my nose and I was carrying a copy of Huisgenoot magazine. “Siss. Only schoolgirls drink that common stuff.”

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Rebel with a deep pocket - Johann Rupert.

Those implying that South Africa’s wine producers are reluctant to stand together should have been at the Vinpro Annual Information Day held at the Lord Charles in Somerset-West on 19 January. It was standing room only as over 500 wine farmers, wine makers, viticulturalists and other folk involved in the local industry packed into the conference venue. Over 100 had to be turned away, even after a make-shift venue was arranged from which proceedings could be followed by camera beaming.

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Many wineries have begun putting their 2011 red blends together. After a day or two’s mixing, matching, scratching of heads, agreeing, disagreeing, the winemaker will make a call as to how many percentages of each varietal component will make-up that particular vintage’s Red, Bordeaux, Rhône, Cape or whatever blend.

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Let’s delve into 2012. What are the predictions for this year’s vinous calendar? Here are four. Readers are invited to add a fifth. The best entry will receive a bottle from WineGoggle’s private cellar. Continue Reading »

Kim Il-Jong tasting Swartland bushvine cinsaut.

Four cases of South African wine have been found in the cellar belonging to recently deceased North Korean despot Kim Jong-Il, a well-known lover of wine. According to family spokesman Long Dik-Tril the cellar of over 10 000 bottles is a living memory to a man whose love of wine and the wine culture were surpassed only by Kim Jong-Ils love of his people, especially those who survived the famine of recent years. The collection included cases of Mullineux Syrah 2008, Columnella 2007, Secateurs SMV 2009 and Allersverloren Port.

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AnotherDamnedFoodBlog goes wine-tasting exclusively for WineGoggle. First paid blog on this site! But hey, we think AnotherDamnedFoodBlog is worth it.

“Bon jour”. “Good day”. “How’s it hanging?” “Hoesit”. “Fuck you, prick”. “Your wife still take it standing?”

Wine Club time, and the greetings are diverse. Varied. Just like the Wine Club dude who invited me. Don’t know whether he’s straight or eight. Like the other assembled dudes. Other dudes are motley, like all over the show. Beards and biceps. Crocs and sandals. Some honcho arrives in RM Williams and a cravat, no shit.

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