An Open Letter to the Organisers of the SA Wine Writers Award

There are countless reasons why people write, and have been writing for centuries. Simply too many reasons to mention and a figure only surpassed by the different types of written communication taking place every second of each minute and every hour of each day.

Wine writing probably falls under the broad banner of topical journalism. Here a number of people practise a form of writing I can only describe as driven by unique reasons for putting finger to keyboard.

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One of alcoholΓÇÖs most redeeming features is the unbridled spirit of generosity it invokes. Take auctions. These are sly things.

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I don't like the way that Portuguese guy is looking at us....

f youΓÇÖre between four and six weeks old, weigh seven kilograms and notice a moustachioed fellow ambling towards you with a knife ready for the kill, chances are you are in the Bairrada region of Portugal.

If you are a pig, that is.

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Always on the look-out for a bit of a stir, South African wine commentators spent a good part of the past year harping on about the local industryΓÇÖs increasing penchant for bulk exports. The concern centred round a bulk-focused export scenario being about as conducive to building image and perception for Brand South Africa as rabble-rousing wineland activist Pastor Nosey PieterseΓÇÖs contribution to positive labour relations.

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The ubiquitous Platter Wine Guide has been thrust into the spotlight since last weekΓÇÖs announcement that Diners Club had taken over publication of the South African winelands most colourful telephone directory and winery GPS co-ordinate provider. Subsequently a few old Platter issues have surfaced, fuelled by reactionary commentary from its associate editor Tim James who is in dire need of a PR 101 Course. But more on that later.

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Important as they are, sometimes I find the abundance of scores and adjectives used to communicate the merits of a particular wine or set of wines dull, boring, predictable and taxing. Let me stress the use of sometimes as I also indulge in dishing out adjectives and descriptors, although I leave the scoring to the maestros.

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Submitting oneΓÇÖs wines to a panel of French judges is pretty much like a guy asking a Swedish WomenΓÇÖs Beach Volleyball team to judge his sexual prowess. TheyΓÇÖve seen it all, tasted it all and are the owners of copious amounts of experience. To make an impression, youΓÇÖve really got to know your Syrah from your Sutra.

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A wine-dine event like no other. Yes, Wine Goggle is getting into the show-events game like so many wine communicators are currently doing, and our event also promises to take paying patrons to heights lofty enough to make their milk curdle.

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The most surprising thing about the South African winelandsΓÇÖ recent summer of discontent is the lack of proactive response from industry bodies in terms of creating ΓÇô or at least attempting to create ΓÇô an inclusive structure where farmworkers are represented at official levels. What happened to the grabbing of initiative and heading for the high ground?

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It is not difficult to give an impression of being a vinous wise-ass. A few snappy throw-away lines are all that is required. In writing, said lines are impressive enough. But expressed verbally with the correct degree of casual elocution and roguish nonchalance they will make an audience of wine novices drool from the waist down.

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